The Longest Ride: A Solstice of Carving and Light
A High Sun Celebration from The Church of the One Wheel
Opening Scripture:
“And the light lingered upon the pavement, and the path stretched beyond the horizon. And the faithful carved until their batteries wept.”
— Book of Sol 6:21
Sermon:
Wheelievers,
Today is no ordinary Sunday.
Today we ride beneath the longest light of the year, when the sun refuses to set and the pavement warms like a sacred charging pad.
Today we celebrate the Solstice of Carving and Light — the day the universe says, “You may ride for just a little longer.”
I. The Solstice Is a Gift
The ancients measured this day by the shadows it cast.
We measure it by the distance we can carve before the streetlights hum.
For today:
Our commutes are sacred.
Our trails are golden.
Our tire treads write scripture in dust.
This is not just a celestial alignment.
It is a cosmic permission slip to glide further than usual — spiritually and physically.
II. The Sacred Stretch of Daylight
Today, we are given the gift of extra light — not to waste on chores or productivity — but to use for sacred acts like:
Longboard pilgrimage to the smoothie stand
Sunset solo rides that feel like music videos
Holding balance just a little longer on that narrow trail because the glow is just too perfect
And when you hit that carve where you’re weightless for a split second?
That’s the solstice touching your soul.
III. Ride While the Sun Still Shines
Let this be a holy reminder:
The darkness always returns.
But today?
Today, you ride without worry.
Without headlights.
Without questions.
You ride because the universe gave you this gift — an extra hour, an open path, a tailwind that feels suspiciously like divine propulsion.
Closing Words:
“Make hay while the sun shines. Make wheel art while the asphalt’s warm.”
— Solar Scrolls 4:4
So go now, faithful.
Carve like the day will never end.
Ride with joy, with speed, and with sunscreen.
And when the sun finally sets, let it find you coasting peacefully — lit by nothing but LEDs and smug contentment.
This is your solstice.
Make it count.
Amen.
Did this sermon spare thee from walking?
Toss $5 into the offering plate to keep the sermons flowing, the wheel turning, and the Prophet only moderately overconfident.
Bless the Wheel — $5No pressure. No indulgences sold. Just sacred nonsense, lovingly maintained.
Continue the Pilgrimage
The Wheel has more wisdom to reveal. Read another sermon before returning to the cursed world of walking.
