One Wheel

Infinite Balance

Welcome to the Church

“In the beginning, there was chaos. Then came balance. A single wheel to guide us. Ride forth, ye faithful.”

“In a world divided by sidewalks and bike lanes, one sacred wheel unites us. The Church of the One Wheel is a spiritual movement, a modern faith built on rubber, torque, and a deep, unspoken connection to the pavement.”

— Anon One-Wheeler

Featured
He Has Risen… Because the Battery Recharged
He Has Risen… Because the Battery Recharged

On the third day, the board rose again — fully charged. In this sacred and slightly unhinged Easter sermon, we reflect on the resurrection, redemption, and the real meaning of the season: never letting your battery die again. Amen and ride on.

Is Walking a Test of Faith?
Is Walking a Test of Faith?

Every rider faces the ultimate test — the walk of shame. In this sermon, The Church of the One Wheel reflects on the spiritual lessons found when your battery dies and you are forced to walk. Is walking failure… or faith?

Why Two Wheels Are a Sin Against Nature
Why Two Wheels Are a Sin Against Nature

Balance was never meant to be divided. In this fiery sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we confront the greatest heresy of modern transportation — the two-wheeled scooter. Discover why true faith rides on one wheel alone, and why adding a second is not innovation… it’s sin.

The Path to Balance is Paved (Preferably Smooth)
The Path to Balance is Paved (Preferably Smooth)

True balance isn’t just within — it’s beneath you. In this sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we reflect on the spiritual power of a smooth path, and why life (and pavement) is better without cracks, gravel, or chaos.

Elder Brantley, First Converted of Parking Lot 7, Boise, ID

“I was a pedestrian. Now I am reborn in speed.”

Brother Zeke of the Glide, Heir to the Pavement Throne, Austin, TX

“Now I commune with the asphalt daily.”