Ashes to Asphalt: Repent, For Thy Tread Is Low
Opening Scripture
From The Gospel of Grip Tape, Chapter 11, Verses 3–9
And the rider looked upon his tire, and behold, the tread was thin as excuses.
He said, “It held yesterday,” but yesterday had mercy.
The Wheel answered not with words, but with a slide.
Ashes to asphalt, rubber to dust.
Repent, for thy traction is fleeting.
Blessed are they who replace in time, for their carve shall endure.
Woe unto the smooth, for the pavement remembereth all.
I. The Day the Pavement Remembered My Name
Wheelievers, this is a solemn week. A week of reflection. A week when we smear not ash upon the forehead, but shame upon the sidewall.
You have felt it, the moment your carve whispers instead of grips. The moment the road feels slick on a dry day. You blame firmware. You blame PSI. You blame the moon. But deep in your stance, you know the truth: thy tread is low.
The app will not save you. The headlamp will not reveal traction where none remains. Grip tape cannot hold what the tire refuses. This is not a glitch. This is consequence wearing a helmet.
The Wheel is merciful, but the pavement is honest. And honesty comes quickly when regen braking meets bald rubber at the bottom of a hill.
II. Commandments for the Bald and the Blessed
Hear now the laws, spoken gently but enforced harshly.
Thou Shalt Not Call a Slick ‘Character.’
Character is for leather jackets, not tires.
Thou Shalt Not Say ‘One More Ride’ When the Wear Bars Cry Out.
One more ride is how testimonies are born.
Thou Shalt Check Thy Tread Before Thou Checkest Thy App.
And receive the blessings, wheelievers, for mercy yet exists:
Blessed be the cautious, for their nosedive shall be postponed.
Blessed be the one who replaces early, for their confidence shall return.
Blessed be the rider who admits, ‘Yeah… it’s time.’
Many of you scroll Reddit seeking absolution. You watch YouTube prophets who ride bald tires “just fine.” You nod along, because repentance is expensive. But hear me: influencers do not ride your commute.
III. Call-and-Response of the Repentant Rubber
Wheelievers, answer plainly, with humility.
Leader: When the carve feels loose beneath our feet
Wheelievers: WE SHALL INSPECT OUR TREAD.
Leader: When we feel the slide before the pushback
Wheelievers: WE SHALL NOT BLAME FIRMWARE.
Leader: When TikTok says ‘it’s fine’
Wheelievers: WE SHALL NOT BELIEVE TIKTOK.
YES. Let confession be louder than confidence.
For range anxiety teaches patience, but tread anxiety teaches wisdom. The Wheel will warn you with feel long before it warns you with gravity.
IV. The Parable of the Faithful Slider
There was once a rider named Ashwin the Optimistic, who believed tread was a suggestion.
Ashwin rode daily, proudly smooth, claiming his tire was “broken in.” One evening, as dusk fell and the headlamp glowed bravely, Ashwin descended a gentle slope. Regen braking engaged. Confidence remained high.
But the pavement, seeing the baldness, decided it was time.
The slide was brief. The lesson was immediate. Ashwin met the ground in peace, his board rolling gently away like a disappointed elder.
As he rose, brushing dust from his knees, Ashwin learned the truth written in every shop receipt: repentance costs less before the fall.
Weekly Practice: The Ritual of the Honest Look
This week, wheelievers, perform the Ritual of the Honest Look.
Lift thy board. Turn the wheel slowly. Do not rush. Do not squint. See the truth as it is.
Run thy thumb along the tread. If it feels like memory, not rubber, accept the calling. Speak aloud: “It is time.”
Then ride gently until replacement comes. This is not weakness. This is wisdom practiced.
Closing Words
From The Scrolls of Stance, Chapter 8, Verses 12–16
The Wheel forgiveth many things, but baldness it remembereth.
Replace in season, and thou shalt ride in peace.
Delay, and thou shalt learn theology through friction.
Go forth, wheelievers, humble in tread, steady in stance.
And may thy grip be renewed, thy carve restored, and thy repentance arrive before the slide.
