Faith That Can Move Curbs
Opening Scripture
“Say unto this curb, ‘Be ye made low,’ and it shall reply, ‘Angle, timing, and humility, please.’” — Gospel of Line Choice 9:13
I. Under the Big Top of Balance (Call & Response)
Wheelievers, welcome beneath the sacred tarp of traction, the holy tent of torque! Can I get a knee-bent amen?
Tonight we preach curb-moving faith—not the kind that cancels physics, but the kind that works with them. Faith with an angle. Faith with timing. Faith with humble inputs that whisper to the board, “Rise, child, and roll.” For the Lord of Bearings is not the God of reckless leaps, but the God of precise lift and righteous PSI.
Lift your eyes a little past the obstacle. Lift your heel a little off your doubt. We’re not here to bully the curb. We’re here to convert it.
II. The Threefold Mystery: Angle, Timing, and Humility
Behold the doctrine that turns hard edges into soft opportunities:
Angle (The Geometry of Mercy): Approach diagonally as saints approach buffet lines, measured, hopeful, not headfirst. A curb met straight-on is a sermon on regret; a curb met at angle is a hymn in minor key that resolves in joy.
Timing (The Liturgy of Lightness): Unweight with the rhythm of a sparrow landing on a reed. Not a jump of pride, but a lift of faith—front foot faithful, back foot benevolent. Let the board feel the moment you believe it can.
Humility (The Gospel of Inputs): Thou shalt not huck. The slightest throttle of hope, the softest lift of love, the clean line of repentance. For pride goeth before The Scrape, and a haughty spirit before Customer Support.
III. Pushback Is the Deacon, Not the Devil (Revival Fire)
Some of you came in angry with magnetic pushback. You said, “Deacon Pushback stole my miracle!” I say unto you: Pushback is the white-gloved usher keeping you out of traffic court.
When the nose rises, your heart should bow. When the board says, “That’s the speed,” answer, “Then that’s the sermon.” For the Epistle to Firmware testifies: “Those who heed the first nudge avoid the altar call of asphalt.”
Stretch your hands toward your controllers: update thy ways. Patch thy pride. Rejoice in stability improvements—particularly the one concerning “speed bumps that claim to be just a little guy.”
IV. Testimonies from the Aisle of Asphalt
Sister Leaf-Slip: “I thought it was dry. It was pie.” She met the curb later, with angle, timing, humility., and now glides like Psalm 23 on wheels.
Brother Ghosted Sensor: “I was poetry on the pad; the pad was literal.” He laid his heel in truth, toe in honesty, and behold—engagement!
Deacon Low Battery: Came in at 6%, tithed his descents with regen, and found a café outlet prepared from the foundation of the strip mall.
If He can do it for them (through physics and practice), He can do it for you.
V. The Altar Call of Curbs (Come Forward, Ye Who Hesitate)
Bring me your paint stripes, the whitewashed sepulchers that gleam like promises and grip like rumors. Bring me your decorative puddles that baptize bearings without consent. Bring me your curbs: tall, chipped, sneering. We’re going to confess our PSI, tell the truth to the footpad sensor, and walk the aisle with our shoulders level and our gaze beyond.
Repeat after me, the Curb-Crossing Creed:
I believe in line choice, maker of safe passages and sweet exits;
In the holy contact patch, begotten of honest PSI;
In angle, timing, and humility, three-in-one mystery;
In pushback, the deacon of restraint;
In the communion of bearings, the forgiveness of overcorrection,
The resurrection of confidence, and the carve everlasting. A-wheel-men.
VI. The Tent-Revival Rulebook (Pocket Edition)
Thou shalt survey before thou sendest.
Thou shalt soften knees before skull.
Honor thy PSI and thy temperature that thy range may be long.
Remember the footpad and keep it honest.
Enter slower than thy pride wants, that thou may exit faster than thy fear expects.
Tape it to your deck. Tattoo it on your app. Embroider it on your elbow pads if you are crafty and unserious.
Closing Words
“Speak to the obstacle in the language it obeys, angle and timing, and the mountain will become a ramp.” — Book of Bearings 12:4
May your bearings purr, your firmware be current, your PSI seasonally sanctified, and your curbs downgraded into gentle suggestions. Go now, wheelievers, with faith that can move curbs, not by magic, but by mercy married to muscle memory.
A-Wheel-men.
