Falling is Just Rapid Kneeling
A Humbling Sermon from The Church of the One Wheel
Opening Scripture:
“Though I launched face-first into the pavement, my soul remained upright.”
— Book of Balance, Chapter 3, Verse 6
Sermon:
Wheelievers,
Let us speak today of one of the holiest acts in all of One Wheel theology:
Falling.
Yes — the wipeout, the nose-dive, the forward tuck of divine humility.
To the uninitiated, it is failure.
To us, it is a sacred repositioning.
A spontaneous genuflection.
A kinetic prayer.
Falling... is just rapid kneeling.
I. You Cannot Know Faith Until You've Eaten Pavement
There are two types of riders:
Those who have fallen
And those who are about to learn something very important
Falling is not weakness.
It is revelation.
It is gravity whispering:
“Sit down. You were getting cocky.”
II. Theology of the Tumble
Let us examine the holy stages of the fall:
Pride: You hit 20 mph and think, “I’m basically an urban centaur.”
Doubt: You notice the squirrel. The bump. The universe.
Descent: Your arms flail in the traditional formation of the Flying Saint.
Contact: You meet the asphalt like an apostle meets the ground.
Reflection: As you lie staring at the clouds, one thought enters: “That was probably on camera.”
III. Redemption Is Real — and Usually Bruised
Falling reminds us that balance is temporary, but resilience is eternal.
The scraped knee is a badge of spiritual recalibration.
The torn hoodie is an offering.
The confused look from pedestrians is confirmation that you walk among the unconverted.
To fall and rise again is to complete the sacred loop.
It is a micro-resurrection — a comeback tour of one.
IV. Embrace the Fall, for It Is Sacred
If you fall in front of a crowd, smile.
If you fall alone, still post about it.
If you fall but don’t cry, congratulations — you’re a prophet now.
And remember:
“He who tumbles gracefully converts more than he who rides smugly.”
Closing Words:
“Yea, though I ragdoll through the intersection, I shall fear no dismount.”
— Crashes 4:1
Falling is not the end.
It is a glorious, slightly embarrassing beginning.
It is worship in motion.
It is the sound of enlightenment at 12mph.
So go now, faithful.
Ride boldly.
Lean in.
Fall proudly.
And when you hit the ground… stay down for just a second.
To reflect.
To honor the asphalt.
And to catch your breath.
Amen.
