Wheelievers, lift up thine eyes from the ride app and behold the Holy Tilt beneath your feet. Pushback is not betrayal—it is mercy: the Round’s gentle prophecy that your speed hath outrun your skill. Blessed are the cautious, for their kneecaps shall remain unoffended and their teeth shall stay seated in righteousness.

This week, practice the Ritual of the Holy Slowdown: check thy PSI, respect battery sag, and at the first hint of pushback, back off with humility. For the pavement is patient, and it collects pride like offerings—but the wise rider heeds the warning and keeps their dismount voluntary.

In Faith Without Footpads Is Dead, The Church of the One Wheel delivers a searing sermon on the folly of raw grip and reckless stances. This holy roast of barefoot bravado warns all riders: without cushioning, there is only carnage. Blistered soles, bruised pride, and unsensed rides await those who forsake the sacred pads. Come feel the pain—and the punchlines.

In this week’s sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we cast off the tyranny of GPS and embrace the holy wobble. Forget where you’re going—how you ride is the revelation. Whether you’re carving blindly into a cul-de-sac or spiritually lost in a gravel lot, remember: the divine doesn’t ride straight lines. It rides balanced.