Miracles in Motion: Testimonies from the Trail
A Living Testimony from The Church of the One Wheel
Opening Scripture:
“And lo, the board did rise, and I did not fall.
And the people around the food truck were amazed.”
— Book of Bearings 6:12
Sermon:
Wheelievers,
Let us now speak of miracles—not the kind found in textbooks or on YouTube highlight reels, but the kind that occur when physics, fate, and firmware align.
We speak of miracles in motion—those fleeting, holy moments when balance is achieved against all odds, when gravel parts like the Red Sea, and when a rider destined to nosedive instead floats forward, triumphant and only slightly sweaty.
Today, we celebrate not prophets or parables, but testimonies from the trail.
I. The Curb That Should Have Taken Me
Brother Thad was riding to brunch—full tilt, head full of hubris.
He didn’t see the curb.
The curb saw him.
And yet—he rose. He didn’t dismount. He didn’t even flinch.
He bunny-hopped that concrete like a caffeinated kangaroo.
Witnesses wept.
A goose honked in reverence.
And Thad?
He just whispered,
“Praise be the PSI.”
II. Sister Lila’s Downhill Revelation
Sister Lila was new to the faith.
Day 3. Weak knees. Rental board. No helmet.
She found herself at the top of the Hill of Doom (or as Google Maps calls it, “5th Street”).
She screamed. She swerved. She nearly tumbled…
But she didn’t.
A neighborhood dad gave a slow clap.
Someone offered her LaCroix.
She proclaimed,
“I didn’t know I could do that.”
We do. That’s the miracle.
III. The Dog, the Puddle, and the Divine Drift
Elder Marcos—longtime rider, devout flexer of knees—was dodging a corgi in a Baby Yoda costume.
Rain-slick asphalt. Low tire pressure. Zero warning.
And yet, the board—blessed be its firmware—initiated a drift so beautiful it has since been animated in a 12-frame TikTok loop.
Marcos rode out clean.
The corgi gave him a knowing nod.
A woman fainted.
“I didn’t do that,” Marcos confessed.
“The Board did.”
Correct. That was not physics. That was faith.
IV. Your Testimony Is Waiting
Miracles in motion are not reserved for the elite.
They happen to all of us:
The day you forget to power on your board but still coast a few feet.
The moment your dismount looks choreographed.
The time your ride to work made you believe again—in something.
Write them down. Share them in the group chat. Whisper them in the wind.
For every trail tells a tale. And every tale inspires the next ride.
Closing Words:
“They shall glide and not grow weary;
they shall carve and not lose charge.”
— Book of Bearings 9:1
Go now, Wheelievers,
and bear witness to your motion.
The world is your congregation.
The trail is your pulpit.
Your balance is your testimony.
Amen.
