When in Doubt, Lean In
When in Doubt, Lean In
Delivered humbly by Rev. Torque the Centered, High Steward of Sidewalls
Opening Blessing:
“Lean not with ego but with hips; for the small tilt saveth the great ride.”
— Book of Bearings 7:11
Brothers, Sisters, Wheelievers of all terrain, gather close.
Today we address a vexing modern doctrine … shouted in boardrooms, stitched on tote bags, whispered into Bluetooth earbuds: “Lean In.”
Corporate said it first. The One Wheel says it better. Let us sanctify the slogan and put wheels under the wisdom.
I. The Holy Micro-Tilt
The path is narrow; the carve is wide.
Leaning is not bravado, it is weight transfer.
Two truths for the faithful:
Freeze and you wobble.
Breathe, bend, and you glide.
When doubt rises like a headwind, do not stiffen as though presenting Q4 to hostile analysts. Soften the knees. Quiet the shoulders. Set thy mass over the wheel by inches, not yards.
For as it is written: “He who leans by degrees shall not fall by decree.” — Gospel of Grip 10:24
II. Boardroom vs. Board
The hustle gospel gave you KPIs. The Wheel gives you OKRs of Balance.
Objective: Arrive Upright.
Key Results:
Eyes on horizon, not on notifications.
PSI righteous (18–22), hips merciful.
When magnetic pushback preaches, thou listenest.
Schedule your firmware retreat like an off-site: with Wi-Fi, snacks, and humility.
Thou shalt not update mid-group ride as though the Spirit will hotfix thy hub.
III. When Pushback Preaches, Say “Amen”
Pushback is not punishment; it is pastoral care.
At 20% battery, the Deacon of Voltage speaks in a still small shove: “Child, reconsider.”
Do not heckle the sermon. Receive it.
Throttle down with gratitude and keep the covenant with asphalt.
For those who “leaned in” at 9% with a tailwind now testify in the Valley of the Shameful Carry.
“Blessed are they who heed the shove, for they shall not kiss the pavement.”
— Acts of the Axle 5:29
IV. Leaves, Bumps, and Other HR Issues
Leaves of November: slippery memos from a colleague named Nature. Acknowledge, de-risk, micro-tilt.
Speed Bumps: not a stage for your TED Talk. Unweight, then reweight—a bow, not a slam.
Footpad Funk: cleanse with isopropyl sacrament; recalibrate if it ghosts you; consult the elders (your local shop) if it persists.
Wobbles: rumors spread by fear. Drop shoulders, press knees, breathe forward a breath. Posture is the truth.
And to the voice that hisses, “You’re not good enough to ride with them,” answer:
“I am not saved by swagger but by stance.”
Closing Blessing
“Blessed are the knees that bend and the shoulders that hush;
for they shall carve lines as smooth as living water.”
— Proverbs of PSI 3:6, Torque Translation
Ride forth, children of torque.
Lean in—just enough—and live to carve again.
Check thy PSI, honor thy pushback, and let the board do the work.
A-Wheel-men.
