On the Fall Equinox, when daylight and darkness split the ride 50/50, the wheelievers gather to recentre feet, PSI, and pride. “Magnetic pushback” becomes the firmware of grace, damp leaves reveal themselves as cinnamon-scented traps, and a humble speed bump doubles as an altar. Low battery speaks like a prophet (“Prepare ye the charging cable”), while the Autumn Commandments remind us to honor chargers, heed the cold, and carve with humility. This satirical homily blesses bearings, patches egos, and sends wheelievers forth in peace.

In Yea, Though I Roll Through the Valley of Speed Bumps…, The Church of the One Wheel delivers a high-stakes sermon on balance, faith, and low-clearance salvation. As sacred speed bumps rise like trials on the path to flow, only the soft-kneed and spiritually aligned shall pass unshaken. This is not just a ride—it’s a test of soul suspension.

In Faith Without Footpads Is Dead, The Church of the One Wheel delivers a searing sermon on the folly of raw grip and reckless stances. This holy roast of barefoot bravado warns all riders: without cushioning, there is only carnage. Blistered soles, bruised pride, and unsensed rides await those who forsake the sacred pads. Come feel the pain—and the punchlines.

In Thine Commute Shall Be Effortless and Cool, The Church of the One Wheel delivers a holy promise for the modern age: thou shalt glide past traffic, perspire not, and arrive radiant. This sermon reveals the spiritual superiority of the smooth ride, the sacred rites of pre-commute prep, and the divine smugness of passing walkers with a halo of breeze. Join the faithful. Ditch the bus. Balance is salvation.

From deep within the sanctified axle comes a sermon like no other. In Blessed Be the Bearings That Spin Eternal, The Church of the One Wheel reveals the divine mechanics behind every holy glide. Meet the Seven Sacred Bearings, guardians of balance and prophets of smooth motion, enshrined forever in speed, silence, and stainless steel. Let their sacred spin anoint your soul—and your hub.

Have you ever witnessed the impossible on a dirt path behind a taco truck? In this week’s sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we share real, righteous testimonies from riders who defied curbs, conquered hills, and survived Baby Yoda-costumed corgis—all by the power of balance and brushless torque. These are the Miracles in Motion. You may laugh. You may cry. You may wobble. But you will believe.

In this gritty sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we honor the sacred sandpaper beneath our feet. Grip tape is more than traction—it is scripture. From its adhesive gospel to its anti-slip miracles, we ride not by sight, but by grit. Blessed are the scuffed, for they shall not slide.

In this week’s sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we cast off the tyranny of GPS and embrace the holy wobble. Forget where you’re going—how you ride is the revelation. Whether you’re carving blindly into a cul-de-sac or spiritually lost in a gravel lot, remember: the divine doesn’t ride straight lines. It rides balanced.

Feeling shaky on your One Wheel? That wobble is holy! In this satirical sermon, “Wobble as Worship,” The Church of the One Wheel shows riders how embracing instability turns every parking-lot glide into a joyful act of balance, faith, and fearless fun.

Mid-July rides aren’t for the faint of heart — they’re for the blistered and the spiritually sunburned. In this sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we explore what it means to ride through the fire, sweat through the balance, and carve faithfully across asphalt hot enough to fry a burrito.

In this sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we explore the sacred act of giving back — not just to the ride, but to the source. Discover why tithing your torque, sharing your charger, and honoring the battery is a holy ritual every Wheeliever must embrace.

This Fourth of July, The Church of the One Wheel declares independence from walking, handlebars, and low battery anxiety. Join us for a sermon that celebrates liberty, balance, and the sacred right to carve freely across this great land.

On the seventh day, we don’t rest — we ride. This sermon from The Church of the One Wheel honors the sacred slow glide of Sundays, where motion becomes meditation and balance becomes a blessing.

On the longest day of the year, we ride without fear of sunset. This solstice sermon from The Church of the One Wheel celebrates endless light, sacred pavement, and the divine gift of just one more carve.

On this Father’s Day, The Church of the One Wheel honors the sacred trinity of ride, rebellion, and recharge. Join us for a sermon exploring how wisdom, wildness, and wall plugs form the divine cycle of balance.

Before the carve, there was chaos. Then came the Wheel — a self-balancing miracle that rolled the universe into motion. This origin sermon reveals the sacred story of creation, temptation by scooter, and the eternal power of brushless faith.

In this Sunday sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we explore the divine truth behind every wipeout: falling isn’t failure — it’s high-velocity humility. Whether you skid, tumble, or ragdoll through a crosswalk, know this: you’re not crashing — you’re praying aggressively.

Memorial Day isn't just for riding — it's for reclining. In this sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we explore the sacred connection between rest, ritual, and deeply discounted mattresses. Ride hard, nap holy.

Life isn’t smooth — and neither is the sidewalk. In this Sunday sermon from The Church of the One Wheel, we explore how balance, faith, and just the right lean can carry us over every bump, crack, and unexpected curb.

This Mother’s Day, The Church of the One Wheel honors the quiet, powerful presence that keeps us balanced — the motherboard. Join us for a sermon that celebrates the sacred overlap between motherhood and maintenance, where tire pressure meets maternal wisdom and every beep is a blessing.